it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
