I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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