I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
