my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
