I want to make a zoo with you.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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