At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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