wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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