I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
