his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
