She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
