No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
