Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
