Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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