The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
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I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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