I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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