Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
