If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
