i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
