OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
