She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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