I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
