Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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