I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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