My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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