he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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