Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My vagina is officially offended.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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