I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize