Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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