she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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