Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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