FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
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