This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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