So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
