Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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