I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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