somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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