if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
