then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
