I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
