similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
