Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
