I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize