covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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