im six kinds of drunk right now
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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