I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
