you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
