Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
