Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need to sanitize my soul.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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