If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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