I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
