Who wears a wallet chain?!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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