Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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