I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
