Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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