You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize