There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
