And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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