It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
