The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
