She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
