Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
