A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
