HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize