I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
